You are reading this at 18, but I'm writing it when you are 6. To me right now you are a freshly thrown pebble making a small ripple in the world. I can only imagine where those ripples will take you by 18.
I can see you among friends. Some of those you will have had at age 6. Some you will make along the way. All of those friends will have been chosen particularly using your impeccable sense of trust, loyalty, and love.
You are probably reading this on some sort of holographic device that hasn't been invented yet. So what is it? Some sort of wristlet? Or maybe this message is flashed onto your college dorm wall. Although, at 6 you swore you would NEVER go to college if you had to live away from home. I can tell you now, I smiled inside every time you said that because seeing your face every day, gathering you up on my lap when you came downstairs each morning, watching your eyes twinkle with anticipation of the day was what I lived for. If it were up to me, I'd keep you home with me every single day for the rest of our lives.
Thinking of you in a future tense is difficult, but fulfilling at the same time. I will miss you, my beautiful child, when you are off doing your own thing as a young adult. I will miss being a part of your everyday. I will miss your freckled face staring at mine like I am all-knowing.
But by this time in life, you probably know that I'm just a normal person. I don't know everything. In fact, I don't know much at all. Of course, I will always share any bit of knowledge I have with you. But when you question my answers, I know that you are growing.
While I will miss your childhood years that we spent laughing and cuddling, I can and will enjoy the new role I will take in motherhood. The things I taught you will have been stepping stones for the knowledge you will now gain in your own life. And you will teach me.
I love that thought.
I'm writing this when you are two days away from starting 1st grade. Your first "number" grade. This is when it all starts to count. This is when your life as an acedemic student begins. I hope you will always be the boy you are now. But at the same time, I'm looking forward to watching you become who you were meant to be as an adult. You are sweet, kind, smart, empathetic, sympathetic, funny as all get out, adventurous, and more than anything you are mine. I am truly blessed.
Thank you for the life you have given me. I love you love you love you...
PS: I promise to never come to your adult home with a ladder on top of my car and sneak into your bedroom window unless your house is on fire or there is some other type of emergency. But I would love it if you would give me a hug every once in a while, just like when you were 6. Your hugs are the best.