I've got the moves like Martha
12/09/2011
The last couple weeks, I've given myself a challenge. Since Christmas is coming, we've been tightening the belt in other areas of our family life around here so we can scrape together some gifts for the kiddies. I decided that I am NOT going grocery shopping (except for the essentials like milk, produce, liquor and eggs) and will be making up meals with strictly what I can find in our pantry and freezer. Of course, it started out wonderfully...Shrimp Fra Diavalo, crusty Italian bread and a lush garden salad with croutons. Now we're down to reheated McDonald's fries and tap water, but at least we have food in our bellies. Here are a few things I've learned on this journey:
- When you add corn starch and water to cooked frozen spinach, you get the slime they used on You Can't Do That on Television.
- Karo syrup isn't good for anything except making candy or pretending it's snot.
- I don't remember EVER buying that can of coconut milk.
- Strawberry jelly mixed with Italian salad dressing is delicious.
- Putting on the Nightmare Before Christmas during dinner (more specifically during a scene with the brown guy who constantly oozes and drips) will make any meal you give your family look more appetizing by comparison. That's a good night to try that Tupperware container of stuff you found in the WAY back of the freezer.
- The frozen peas that were used as icebags after surgery don't taste much different than any other frozen peas.
- Giving the kids an extra multi-vitamin when they ask for more at breakfast doesn't count as "more breakfast" to them.
- Even after two weeks of doing this, we STILL haven't touched the quinoa I found on the top shelf.
- We have a bottle of Jagermeister in the freezer.
- My kids love hot dog buns with butter.
- My kids love hot dog buns without butter.
- My kids love butter by itself.
- My kids think margarine IS butter when we run out of butter.
- I can't trick my kids with butter flavored Pam when we run out of margarine.
-Popcorn is a fine breakfast cereal substitute. It's whole grain and has less sugar.
- You CAN get sick of pasta. Especially when you run out of the good stuff and are stuck with the whole wheat kind you bought back when you thought being healthy was going to happen.
- There are still the same amount of dishes after dinner no matter what you cook.
I've never appreciated my status as a Price Plus card holder more than I do right now. It has been a long couple weeks, and I am ready to run full speed, jump directly into ShopRite's beef display and make a snow angel. Beef, it's for dinner tonight! ...with shots of Jager on the side.