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5 Things I'd like to un-see in commercials for food

In today's age of DVRing and fast forwarding through most commercials, I very rarely see any anymore which is AOK, in my book.  Don't get me wrong, I do love a good commercial. Some of my favorites include dogs driving cars into lakes, Jake from State Farm, and of course the "French" model from the internet.  But with only about 1:45 to watch 3 hours of DVR'd shows at night, forwarding through those commercials is a real benefit!

But I do always love food commercials.

Well, maybe ALWAYS is an exaggeration.  There are definitely times when food commercials really kinda make me feel everything but hungry for whatever they're selling.  In fact, there are some types of food commercials that I wish I could just remove from my memory banks.  Here they are: 

Juicy burger
photo courtesy of flickr.com/foodiebuddha

1. When they squeeze down burgers to show how juicy they are.  Eeeeeww.  I mean, juicy burgers are delicious.  But when you can see that juice flowing in high def 10xs the size it would normally be..?  I would rather eat a hockey puck on a bun with some ketchup.

2. Dog or cat food being shown the same way as people food.  Stop it right now.  Dog and cat food should only be appetizing for dogs and cats.  We do not need to see the can being opened (considering we all know that horrid smell and the weird gel on top that comes with opening one of those cans) or watch the glop of blech get spooned into a crystal bowl.  No.  

3. Drippy creamy sauces on anything.  Please stop pouring that stuff on that beautiful steak.  

4. Food being personified.  If my breakfast cereal squares are so darn tasty that they feel the need to cannibalize each other, I'm OUT!

5. Popeye's Rip'n Chick'n.  Yes, these things have plagued my nightmares for quite some time now.  I'm not sure if these are severed fried hands or fried rooster combs, but either way I'd appreciate it if they would not be shown being ripped apart and eaten on my screen during my favorite shows thank you very much.

Here's the thing:  I'll bet everything they are showing on TV is delicious! (Besides the dog and cat food, of course).  I just don't like the commercials.  

So that's it.  Hungry now?