Today's my birthday. I'm 41. It's cool. I don't feel like it.
Yesterday I was running and had a whole bunch of thoughts. A lot of metaphor-like thoughts that compared running with real life and blah blah blah. Not unusual when I'm out there because the rest of the world is basically background when I'm running. Some days those thoughts fall away like dreams when I wake back up at the sight of the dishes in the sink or whatever. But yesterday they were more lasting.
I thought about how I haven't really gotten any "better" at running over the past year. I don't go any faster and I don't cover more ground than I used to. In fact, I've done the opposite. I think I've actually slowed down. And that's actually fine. I wasn't conflicted with myself at all about this realization like I normally would be. I used to strive to always beat myself every day. I would wait for my little Nike app to tell me how much better I did than my last run and hope for some famous runner's voice to give me a virtual pat on the back for a job well done.
But it's been quite some time since the line graph has made much upward movement on that app and I'm more than happy about it. It made me think that I need to carry that feeling over to real life.
Sure, I always want to strive to be a better person than I was the day before. That will never change. But do I need to try and get there so quickly? Nope.
Slowing down to enjoy the process is something I'm going to strive for this year. Less "convenience", more time. No more doing something a certain way because it's easier. Because it's NOT easier. Buying premade items instead of making them myself isn't fulfilling. It doesn't teach my children anything. It doesn't teach me anything. Cramming a million activities into a day doesn't give me more time tomorrow, it just leaves tomorrow open to cram more activities into.
I can't help but think about our bodies and how I don't think we're supposed to go this fast all the time. I know we can sprint and I know we can run marathons. That sprint is supposed to be a short burst. For hunting. For running away from a predator. We shouldn't be sprinting all the time.
So if you see me running so slow out there that it looks like I'm basically standing still, don't worry. I'm ok. I'm just striving to be a better person.