These are the days
Today I felt small

The stuff I crave

Yesterday my daughter and I got to spend some quality time together. We get to spend a lot of time together on a daily basis, but about 19 minutes of that time is quality.  And I'm talking per week, not per day, it seems.  Most of the time we just happen to be going the same direction but completely in our own worlds just glancing over to give a thumbs up or blow a quick kiss.  But yesterday we had about 4 full hours of embracing each other's voices and holding onto each word while it seeped in.  We talked about everything we wanted.  Some serious, some silly.  And I saw something I had been missing.

My daughter is growing up.

It didn't hit me like a ton of bricks, but it trickled in as the day went on. Little things like carrying a purse.  With actual money in it and hand lotion. Using chopsticks to eat the spicy tuna roll she picked for her lunch.  Trying on jeans just for fun.  Skipping the toy store. 

I have always been excited and scared to watch my kids grow up.  I know I'm half of the team who is in charge of their upbringing (along with all our loved ones, of course) and that is terrifying.  I screwed up so much in my youth that I never thought I could do this.  But then days like yesterday...

There is never an end to parenthood and there is never any way of knowing whether or not we are doing a good job.  Sometimes you need your daughter's offer to buy you a smoothie from the mall food court with her own money to show you it's all alright.

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