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February 2015

Thanks for loving me anyway

Chalk heart

I'm thinking a lot about all the people who are in my life right now.  Every one of you plays a very important role in who I am.  I am so happy to have myself surrounded by such a great force that is my family and friends.  This is for all of you.  Be ready, because this is where I become an unglued, slobbery mess.

 Thanks for loving me anyway

I'm sorry I forgot to pack your snack yesterday. 

I'm sorry I never remember that you don't have gym on Thursdays.

I'm sorry I am sometimes distracted by something that has absolutely nothing to do with you and I'm not paying full attention to what's going on in your life every moment.

I'm sorry I am a spaz when it comes to remembering dates.

I'm sorry tonight's dinner isn't exactly the one you were hoping for.

I'm sorry I haven't called in a while.  I have no excuse.

I'm sorry I couldn't make it to your special event.  I have been regretting it ever since and wish I could turn back time.

I'm sorry I sometimes go into a shell and have trouble getting out of it until I'm ready.

I'm sorry that my mood is sometimes hard to determine.

 

Thanks for smiling at me and saying it's OK.

Thanks for hugging me.

Thanks for being on my side.

Thanks for letting me stay in that shell just long enough to think before tapping me on the back and pulling me back out.

Thanks for listening without saying a word. 

Thanks for loving me anyway.

 

 


Right now

Did you ever just sit and think about the people close to you and miss them terribly?  They could be sitting right next to you, and yet you yearn for something that's not quite there at the moment.  

You can glance at your son and see a flash of him the way he was as a chubby baby.  Or your daughter could say something that gives you a glimmer forward to her college years.  Or your husband might peck you on the neck while you are standing in the kitchen and you think of that same kiss happening over 10 years ago in a different kitchen.  In a different house.  

I love and hate those feelings because they make me both smile and lower my eyes at the same time.  Those feelings make me nostalgic for different times that both occurred and will occur in the future.

But they make me discount right now.

I don't like that.

Because right now is fantastic.  Right now there is snow falling like feathers outside.  Right now the lighting is just right for writing.  Right now I'm anxiously awaiting those smiling faces who will tell me about their days and give me hugs and hold my hand without thinking about it.  

And then tonight will be filled with Right Nows that are even more magical.  The Right Now that involves reading Harry Potter to my son.  The Right Now that lets me touch my daughter's ever-so soft cheek and wish her a good night's sleep after prayers.  The Right Now when I lay on my favorite spot snuggled to my husband's chest with his arm draped over me.  

No more missing them.  I love them right now.