Funny, but when I ask God these questions, He responds with the exact same answer for each. After every thought bubble leaves my head and floats to Him, I hear the word compassion. Every time.
At first, I didn't get it. Why compassion? Why not understanding or empathy?
Because they are not enough.
Having compassion means you step into the same situation you are questioning and really feel it. You feel a different perspective than your own. You embrace those feelings you don't undestand and make them yours. You suffer. You then understand.
In doing that, you teach yourself how to make it better. How to soothe your mind. How to be a better person, friend, daughter, mother, whoever... How to see more than your own side. How to look through someone else's eyes at the same situation. How to better understand your own feelings. How to accept differences. How to forgive and how to ask for forgiveness.
How to let go.
God is good.